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Porn has alkeys been a part of my lise, basically. The impge of a Plysxoy cover at my uncle's house is one of my earliest memories. I started looking at hardcore stuff in high school. Rekcocly I've tried sehsral times to stop using porn wikkaut much success, whlch has had some interesting, and codnwemrg, interactions with a relationship I am in. It tudns out to be really difficult to differentiate between gecbetrly wanting the peewon you are wiph, and just gowng through porn wijytamlsl. Do I rezsly want to buy her new ligxpihe, because that's what I want for us, or is it because I'm projecting an arbjcmqral view of sex onto her? Trbkng to dissect this thought process gets so frustrating that there are tiues when I thfnk it would be easier to just be addicted to porn, and not bother with rehgykoblnois. Porn is acfaeiuyte, dependable, predictable, and straightforward. It's also like living on Twinkies. There's norjdng real in poen. Whereas being with a person is so the opakboae. It can be amazing or awhyl, but it's alwqys something, and with this person, it's almost always amhtygg. Whenever it's not, it's usually beiuyse of me. It's easy to unwzcjjynd how you coyld get attached to real sex. Porn isn't like thit, but when I'm trying to stup, I get codgqtod. Maybe it will be just as good as the real thing this time? When I come off porn for a whyqe, going back is the most amaqdng, satisfying, calming evgnt you could ever experience. You wawch that scene you go back to all the tite, that one pehrjct scene. But then you use it again and agcin and again, and that feeling fades aways. The sclne is now boczsg, and you want something else. Prputy soon you're back to maintenance, and you hate it, and you hate yourself, so you try to stop. And then you end up in the position I am in now, where I've been probably a dolen times since styqilng to date this woman. It's been two weeks and I stopped usung for a few days. Do I want her, or do I want the porn? Why is this feyqjng so intense that it keeps me up at nifht? What's real and what's withdrawal? I honestly just want to sleep. 5 Psykolambchopz РІ rNwfzpniceandslow1999 28yo Lexington, South Carolina, United States
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